It reminds me, this song, at how our lives can be one long and uninteresting narrative punctuated by short bursts of excitement and song. Take, for example, a sunny day. Any sunny day, really. Doesn't really matter if its tomorrow or yesterday, a thousand years ago or a thousand years from now. What's different? What's the same? If I stood over here would things be less sunny than if I had stood over there?

Probably. But overall, it's a nice day. Do you think empires fall on nice sunny days? Do you think homes are smashed, dreams evaporated and people change on nice sunny days? No, nice sunny days are boring, uninteresting and generally very similar to each other. On nice sunny days, the only thing you can comment on is "Nice weather, eh?" and the only reply to this is "Quite, quite."

I was at work today and I was poking the touch screens at the terminal, withdrawing and depositing Nexium or some other drug when a nurse comes in and asks me if there was anything she can steal from the already open drawer (since everything is mechanically locked). She said, "Of course not because if it was here, it'll be all too easy. And when life is easy, you know you're dead."

(Which is an appropriate comment since we were already in the hospital. Well, maybe not. Since hospitals are where people go in hopes of getting better. But you get the point.)

When life is easy, you know you're just in a long and drawn out narrative, an endless string of sunny days and weather patterns that you can't really comment on or squeeze out a decent conversation. We all know that all the action comes from rainy days, blizzards, depressing overcast and shitty evenings on the sidewalk.

But I like them. I like those shitty moments with the rain in my face, the wind blasting my face and that moment of growing up. I think I definitely need more of these. Of course, sunny days once in a while wouldn't hurt either.

Besides, we all know that its usually safe on the second sunny day to sit on the grass, its sure to be dry by then.

Best spontaneous night ever. That's all I can say about it. Well, maybe not all I can say about it.

So, today I left my Jewish Racism Holocaust class early (6-ish) and took the train home. I got home at about 7:30ish and went online. Shane asks me if I want to hang out with him since we've been trying to for the longest time but we've both been busy or whatever. I knew I had work to do but I knew that I needed some fun time (okay, maybe need is the wrong word to use, but whatev) As I was pulling into his driveway, Katie calls me and invites me to dinner with Peter, both whom I haven't seen since this semester started.

So, I take Shane to see Katie and Peter and we have dinner at Applebee's which was great. Like, we were so goofy, it was so fun. Afterwards, Katie and Peter left and Shane and I just bullshitted around. We decided to visit our friend Missy at work (Shane and my old workplace - where I met Shane, actually). So, we're there talking to Missy as she's working (its a supermarket) so every once in a while, I'd jump in and help her bag groceries. It was fun. Then their friend Shaun walks in. I didn't know Shaun so I met someone new.

Shaun was talking about his job. Apparently, he works at a comic book store. I asked him which one and he said both in Plymouth Meeting and King of Prussia. So I told him that my friend (guess who?) and I have been meaning to go to a comic book store since my friend likes Buffy comics (you know who). And he's like, "Really? because I have one in my car. Hold on, let me go get it."

He goes out and gets it and gives it to me, free of charge. He said, "It's okay, they didn't know I had it out anyway."

Then we just hung out.

Okay, maybe it sounds boring in here but it was totally a great day. Nice weather and a great night as well.

I want to go on a roadtrip. I want to get lost. I want to wake up somewhere and find myself on an alien planet with people walking to and fro on their own errands and none of them know me. I've been thinking about this for a while. No, not the "I want to run away" kind of fantasy. But maybe it is. One of my friends told me recently about his adventures in Australia after he dropped out of his second semester of college. College just wasn't for him, I guess. Anyway, he went to Australia and only planned on staying there for two weeks. He ended up living there for a year.

Let me digress for a second. The difference between staying somewhere and living somewhere. Staying somewhere implies that there's a chance of not staying at that place anymore. Living somewhere implies that one has already invested time and money and energy into creating a niche in this "somewhere" in which they are living. My friend only wanted to stay in Australia. He ended up living there. Have I stayed in Pennsylvania? Or have I lived here? I don't know.

Anyway, I asked how he survived because he told me he was broke in Australia. My friend spent nights on the street or in hostels doing odd jobs here and there. I was talking to Kevin about this and Kevin made a really interesting comment, "I don't think we're that kind of people." Yes, I guess it does take a certain kind of person to survive in a foreign country for a year. And I always hoped I was that kind of person. But I'm not so sure.

I still want to go on a roadtrip though. I wish I had friends living across the United States so I could visit each one of them and stay at their places as I tour the heck out of this country. I'd bring Deanna along. And anyone else who would like to pay for gas and help drive. Or has a better car. I would take tons of pictures. Maybe even film some stuff. Make a documentary out of it. I'd get millions. Of dollars, that is. Hopefully. But it all begins with one small step.

I was talking to my mother today. I told her about the chance that I might not get into pharmacy school. She told me that she was thinking of moving to California. I felt relieved. Instead of feeling lost or whatever. I then told her about my plans of moving out with Deanna. She seemed okay with it. I mean, I'm going to have to move out anyway because there won't be a house in which I could stay/live in, right?

Where am I to stay? Where am I to live?

So lately I've been in a sort of weird half-awake half-dead kind of state of being. Sure, I'm here and I'm being social but at the same time, I'm not really here and being social. I'm kind of drifting through space completely aware of everything that is going around me but completely not caring about it. I guess its just everything at once, too much.

5 bad things.

1. ) The whole debacle with Common Ground's financial issues left me burned out on Common Ground and money. Running here and there, meetings with this person and that person. I just felt that I was spread so thin. And it doesn't help that the other officers in Common Ground are too busy doing their own thing to really pick up the slack. It was mostly Deanna and me running around doing things, pulling the last minute plea for money to Temple.

2. ) Then it was the whole people calling me to hang out. Saturday, mall. Sunday, mall. And Jason keeps calling randomly to hang out which I honestly cannot do much of because its always at the last minute and I keep feeling bad for it. But this is just a minor headache, seriously though, I'm kind of flattered.

3. ) Working. I need the money to pay off my applications but I also need the time to study. Where's the balance?

4. ) Getting home at a decent hour. I've been getting home later and later lately and I really don't like it. Sure, I get to hang out with Deanna more which is never a bad thing but at the same time, I want to be in my own bed and going to sleep earlier because I always have to get up at 6:30 in the morning to try to catch the train.

5. ) Organic Chemistry. From where I'm standing now, it looks pretty likely that I'll have to repeat Orgo II this summer or possibly in the fall. My grades are not that good and its all my fault. I can't even say its because the course is tough or anything. It's just because I've been slacking and have not kept up with the work. I can turn around now but in all honesty, I think its already too late. Now, I just have to decide whether or not to drop it or continue.

Everything at once, I do not need this.

5 good things.

1. ) Deanna

2. ) Food

3. ) The weather - it being the first day of spring, its all uphill from now on, right? The weather can only get better. Right, right?

4. ) National Day of Silence soon.

5. ) *fill in the blank* - because I can't.

It was basically an asshole move. Give us 75 degree weather then two days later give us effin' sleet and hail and my car door not opening because its iced shut.

Ah, Saint Patrick's Day is tomorrow. If I were going out with an Irishmen, I could say "I have a little Irish in me." Hehe (I meant, anal sex if you didn't know)

Eh, this day is not starting out too well. I always set my alarm clock for 6:30 AM since I have to catch the 7:41 train into Philadelphia for my 8:40 class (train gets there at 8:15ish). But today I woke up at 7:05 AM even though I vaguely remember turning my alarm off.

*note : my alarm clock is not actually a clock. It's just my cellphone. Because right now, my alarm clock is not plugged in. Don't ask, long story.

So in about ten minutes, I got dressed, prettied myself, downloaded the latest Feast of Fools podcast and packed my bag to school. All in ten minutes. I was out the door by 7:15 and on the road about ten seconds after that. I made the train, didn't fall asleep on the train.

But I have a feeling I might fall asleep in my geography class today.

I swear, I am going to die from exhaustion soon. From being overworked and stretched too thin.

All week (and all of past week too) I've been having all these great ideas on what to blog about. Yes, I realized that this is a sign that I am totally addicted to blogging. But nevermind that. I was going to blog about how my biology lecture showed An Inconvenient Truth on Monday, how great going to Connecticut was, how much 300 was such a homoerotic movie, and a bunch of other things. But I'm not going to do that. Or maybe I will some other time.

Which leads me to one more thing I can blog about. Uh. So the empire of Chris and I finally crumbled. Blah blah blah. Whatever. I don't really want to dwell on it much because it happened so long ago (relatively).

When news started to spread (via Facebook and various social tunnels and with me telling people also) I found people who actually offered to be my rebound sex buddies. And although the offers were very nice, I don't think I'm the kind of person that would be willing to get "free" sex. I'm honored though.

I've also been meeting people which has been very fun. Going to lunches and movies and sometimes dinner. With different people. I've gotten a few phone numbers in the past weeks. And I found out that I enjoy meeting people. I enjoy being social.

I definitely think that by being active in Common Ground and knowing the friends I do, I really broadened my horizons and became a more social person. It's great to walk around campus and find people I know and wave at them or talk to them. It's great to see people at the train station and ride the train with them. And what I learn here, it's helped me to meet people on a more romantic basis.

Okay, I'm not trying to sound too infomerically or adult about it. But let's just say that I've gotten good at meeting people. And I'm glad because I kind of miss the not-so-single life. But at the same time, I'm not in a hurry. I'm just trying to have fun right now.

Oh yeah, I just got news that the school doesn't have enough money to fund Common Ground's budget. All $2300 of it. Great.

So I was at the mall today and I got this really nice jacket at American Eagle for about $20 marked down from $60 and it was a extra small too. I thought I was really lucky. What are the chances of anyplace having anything in men's extra small? And it being cheap? Hurray.

But as I was walking past the Gap store I saw ads for "Boyfriend jeans" or something like that. I find this very funny. It's for girls who want to buy boy jeans so people will think that those pants belong to their non-existent boyfriends. The pants are basically boy pants. Only made for girls. I don't really know what the difference is. If I wanted boyfriend pants I would just...wear the pants already in my closet. And girlfriend pants are out of the question.

Hey, here are the Top 5 Songs I feel like posting. Get them while they're hot!

1. The Blow - Parenthesis [download]
2. Simone White - The Beep Beep Song [download]
3. Vyvienne Long - They're not Waving [download]
4. Final Fantasy - He Poos Clouds [download]
5. Darren Hanlon - Happiness is a Chemical [download]
   

You can get other songs I've posted HERE