Today I realized that I really need a boyfriend.

Bio review in the morning, I called Derek since there were still seats in the review session so I didn't have to review with him afterwards. So I had an hour free earlier than I would have if I had to review with Derek. So I spent it with Deanna. We got lunch and then Deanna asked me if I wanted to hang out with her friend Rob. I'm always leery when hanging out with people who I didn't know because sometimes there isn't a good escape plan if they end up being assholes. But I decided to anyway. I mean, you gotta take chances, right?

Getting into the car with Rob, he had sunglasses on and a bluetooth headset and I just thought to myself, "Oh, he is such an asshole, I just know it." and his boyfriend - Dan - was too hot for words. So I just felt so ugly. You know. In the presence of people who probably think they're better than you or something. We drove to a parking garage and then Rob gave Dan a historical tour of Philadelphia. By this time, I didn't really think Rob was an asshole anymore. I mean, he took off his sunglasses and bluetooth headset and was really friendly. So I started to like him.

We went to the Liberty Bell and to Ben Franklin's house and stuff. Then to South Street (the part that was after Condom Kingdom) then to the Water Front in which Rob and Dan were acting too cute for words.

And so it continued after that - the flirting and kissing between them two as we strolled into Giovanni's Room and to Condom Kingdom and cheesesteaks. I mean, I had Deanna with me and they weren't doing it the whole time but when they did, I was thinking to myself - "I really want that."

Like, nothing else. I just want someone who will share inside jokes with, hold my hand, you know, hold me. Laugh. Cry. Everything. But, I'm either too busy or the guys who I've had encounters with haven't been worthwhile enough for me to include them in my busy life, you know? Like, they're all good guys and I don't know if they would be so willing to be in a relationship with a busy guy like myself who won't have any time to go on dates except for once or twice a week. Or who will have a ten o'clock bedtime since he's so tired.

But this Haverford guy. I like him because he's really busy too and I think it could work out. He's really bad at answering e-mails and he probably is only free thrice a month or so so I wouldn't feel so bad when I'm not free. But hopefully he's free when I'm free. He actually canceled our coffee date today because he wanted to visit his Vassar friend. Next weekend, he promises.

Better be next weekend, bitch.

PS. "Spooning leads to forking" is from my good friend - Jason yesterday. I like it.